T emailed back and said I see everything that is caring or nice as manipulation or a trick and though thats a famaliar place for me to be, its also a lonely place. Dam, crap, I didnt' realise that was what I was doing, pushing people away so that I can be alone. I emailed back, but., but I don't want to be lonely and T replied, No but you forget that when you are overwhelmed with not being able to trust. I repeat this pattern so many times, and so many times people have taken me at my word, but no one pointed out to me what the end result is, I know it seems pretty simple, but I didnt see that....