((((clarityknot))))

Wow, I am impressed -- your ability to self-heal and analyze is amazing, and proof of your own personal power.

If you helped you before, then you can help yourself now. That doesn't mean you have to do this alone, but rather believe in your own abilities and yourself.

A few thoughts for you - feel free to accept or discard them:

Try reading your post, as if it were written by someone else.
What advice would you give that person?
What first step could that person take?
What area of therapy would you recommend that person look into?
Are there things other than paying therapy that person could do?

Aside from traditional therapy, I might suggest starting an exercise program. Find a buddy if you can, or a journal where you can keep yourself accountable. Take it one day at a time, and keep it simple. There is no need for expensive trainers, just get that heart pumping.

There is a lot of new research into exercise and neurobiology that I've been reading about. When I read that aerobic activity has been proven to grow integrative parts of the brain -- that got me motivated. After years of trying to make an exercise program work, that somehow did it.

I'm one month into my new program (30 min, 3x/week with a DVD workout at home), and I'm feeling better and more energetic.

One final tidbit:
What is the difference between surviving and thriving?
(You said you're functioning, and it sounds like you're doing a great job. Maybe a part of you wants to 'Thrive'?)


Owl