Failure can be one of life's greatest teachers, failure can refine us in ways that success cannot. failure is such an important part of being human! Whats critically important is that we not become so focused on the "failure" that we're unable to move on...(so we can waste a lot of time trying to un-scramble an egg) I sense your deep despair and perhaps it's well deserved but you sound as if you'd like to "feel better," to do this one thing is for sure...failure is never final until a person quits trying! also, please remember that failure is a courageous act! it takes a lot more strength to attempt something and fail than it does to attempt nothing and succeed! perhaps you will simply "get up one more time than than you are knocked down" Let this be your "rock bottom"...quit digging the hole that you feel as though you're stuck in and look around for the rope that you can use to climb out with! not tomorrow,not next week...but today!