Why am I not getting anywhere?
I saw T today... nothing was accomplished.

I still feel odd.. like I don't fit in anywhere.

He says he feels like there are two me's. One makes jokes, the other is a hard ***. Why can't I be both? I don't get it.

He asked why I'm so angry. I've read all the boohoohaha on it. I know it has something to do with .. um.. well.. an uncomfortable childhood, but I don't want to tell HIM that! I know why (as I suspect he does).. I just can't connect the dots. I don't see what one has to do with the other so instead of talking about it, I dance. I'm an adult.. I'm NOT a child so why can't I control the sarcasm?

Why do I go see him? I'm not thinking any more clearly, I'm not out movin' and shakin'............... I'm the same me and that's NOT a good thing.

L