Now that i know i suffer from ptsd i am left with the why me question..Not so much the pity why me..But the why did the abuser chose me?? Why was i so easy to be controlled and manipulated?? N ow im left with this question so he still controls me...Questions of why and when..if i dont get better im still being controlled by my abuser....When does this go away??When do i find these answers?? i know this all takes time...i'm sorry if i sound like im rambling...I just want my life back...i wanna look in the mirror and see some part of myself looking back.....I want control of my own life..