Sorry in advance if this is the wrong place to be posting this, but i did the "ask" thing under the ask tab, and wasnt sure if i successfully 'asked' for help, so im posting what i think i asked here, in this forum.


Im 18, male, and im an inbound college freshman.

My problem is that no matter what i do, people dont seem to generally like me or include me.

Every group of friends ive ever had never seemed to make an effort to include me, except for one group, which didnt get together often. I never had any unpleasant disuputes with anyone in the groups of friends, and we seem to get along, but people dont include me - its like i dont belong in any of the groups of friends ive ever had.

I have normal hobbies and interested like everyone else - i love to snowboard, bike, i love music and i am a bit of a gearhead. I also like to party with friends when i am still a part of the group.

Ive searched many forums for people with problems similar to the one i am facing, but have found nothing. Many of them suggest soul-searching for an undesirable quality about a person's personality that makes them unliked and i've dont this, but i cant find anything wrong with my personaility.

I know i am a shy person, and generally find it difficult to make new friends because i can never find anything to say, but even so, once ive managed to find people who i can spend time with, no one makes an effort to contact me. I am always the one to call and 'invite myself'. Once im with the group, we have a good time and everything is cool. but after a while, i get tired of 'inviting myself' and abandon efforts to be included.

I know this may sound ridiculous, but i beleive a major cause is my name and red hair. Redheads have a negative stereotype of being 'uncool' - i dont know if thats the right way to put it, but i cant put my finger on it at the moment. I also beleive my strange name, Alistair, may be a cause. When people ask what my name is and i tell them, almost every time i get a "Sorry, what?" or a "Alisson" or some other similar sounding female name - that or a horribly butchered version of my name. the three most common are 'alixter', 'allison' and 'Hollister' - "Like the clothing store?".
Since i have an unusual, foreign name (its actually very common in scotland) and a fair complexion with red hair, i cant just blend in and be normal like everyone else - im different, which is why i think i find it hard to make friends who want to include me.
Its a sort of "whos that redheaded kid with the wierd name?" effect.

Im pretty depressed about the whole thing and i really dont know what to do. Any advice? Im open to all criticism on the matter.

Thanks for reading.