Anger - at everything and at nothing ... you're just the one who gets to see it all

Watching your back - for years and years

Hanging w war buddies - wud have been great

Talking about it - seldom

Odd behavior - always, or sometimes hidden

Over reacting - almost always

Control - trying but not quite

Authority - resist it

Perfection - demand it

Wanting to go back - always (maybe to do it right next time)

Guilt - deep

Tears - hidden

Hugs - needed

Understanding - held at arm's length

Counseling - unlikely

Progress - some - with relapse

Dropping out - wish for it

Coming back here - desperate again - scary, wish I hadn't, not in the plans