So sorry you feel so shaken up!
Thing is to know what is happening to you and why would be nice too. To just check out is scary less you know why you did, I mean less scary. It does feel weird to be kinda in middle of two personalities, feels really empty ( at least for me it does).
I also look at my arm and know if I'm all there or half me, or all gone cause my arm will look skinny/boney or very chubby.
I've been struggling all day to get grounded and finally when I went out for a drive with my kids we had a few laughs, got into cute trouble and I felt like ME, but before than I was lost, looked different, even my eye color changes, my skin tone, and of course behavior. My daughter tells me that if I'm stuck in a Mad Me, My eyes are grey.
I think it's so good if your younger self want to see T, mine just cries still. I think you should try to trust as much as you can, your T sounds perfect!
All the best to YOU.