it's alright Jan, as the others have already said, no need to feel this way.

If you take care of yourself, then you are in a better position to help others.
What is selfish about that?

If you ask me, you are so smart and delightful, I'll be glad you are back around when you are ready for my own selfish reasons. See the difference?

you are loved and missed, Dear Person, so take the time you need, the healing coming your way, and then share some pearls with us when you are ready, ok?

love,
night