Hi Mental Pollution;

I have been married for 35 years to the same woman. I know what your husband feels. The guilt is crushing him right now and if you are quiet about it it hurts even more. He is telling you that you can leave because he feels that is what he deserves. You are a good woman to forgive that betrayal.

Tell him that you want to put this behind you and don't want it brought up by him anymore. Tell him that if you have a question that you will ask him. Be firm in your talk and make sure he understands. Let him grovel for a while and let him feel badly. He needs to realize the pain he caused and let the process of healing begin. Tell him that the wound won't heal until he stops all the guilty feelings and becomes willing to allow time and love heal your marriage.

I know he is feeling badly and that is good, but if he continues this behavior it would seem that he is possibly looking for a way to blame inattention to him as a reason for the affair. Guys think weird when it comes to relationships.

Good luck,