my friend here on PC.. she wanted me to go to the hospital bc she says she has never seen me this bad.. combo of puking and nervous wreck.

i cant do that due to obligations, etc... and i never ever ever will go willingly to a hospital. Its fine IMO for anyone who wishes to go.. but not against my will.

i am wasting food money really... i have tried recently to buy my favourite foods... even junk, just to ge tme to eat something. But if i do eat.. i am compelled to throw up. The amount has to be really small or i cant deal with it. Trouble with that is that i actually LOVE food.. i jus went to this awesome little cafe for lunch.. had this panini thing that had brie and tomato confit and ham... and a tasty little side green salad. magnifico! i enjoyed it... and then i wlaked the two blocks home and threw up most of it. What a waste of $14.

my grocery money is not a lot.. i can't afford to just buy food to throw down the drain - literally. i have been eating this stuff bc i wouldnt eat at all otherwise... and i do enjoy eating good foods. i'm limited to 5 half wings... or 4 biscuits... or maybe 1/2C of cottage cheese and a plum... those are my choices if i want to eat... one of those is it. ANything more and back up it comes