I've been married for almost a year... and it's been rocky. REALLY rocky.

At first, I'd try to tell my husband that "nothing good comes easy" but now I wondering if he was right all those times when he said, "maybe everything is so hard because we wern't meant to be..."

When we first met, it was love at first sight. I fell head over heals right away! I remember, I walked into the room and looked at him, and thought "that guys thinks he's going to marry me!"

I was with an abusive man at the time who about 4 months before had almost killed me. He left the state, but I was so broken that I acutally kept up contact. I was too afraid to ever see him again, but I couldn't let him go.

Well, when I met my husband, I started to forget about the other guy... Started to see the future.

But now, here we are, with the worst things that could possibly happen to couples, and people... all happened before we even made a year... Let me give you some examples:

I wasn't the most reserved girl before I got married, but I was for about 8 months before I got married. My husband did like finding out that I had been somewhat promiscus before I met him.

My mother really liked my ex, even after everything he did... so she tried to get things to work out between the two of us.

My ex started to harrass us, and harrass my husband's ex-wife.

My husband's ex stopped letting him have anything to do with her daughter (not his), so since he'd been around for nearly all her life, he began to fight for visitation rights.

My husband's son's mother started to cause problems for us by manipulating my 6 year old step son. He'd come home afraid that he'd be kidnapped, or killed.

----BY this time, we'd been married for 4 months.

I was also pregnant, so I was feeling moody from that. With everything that was going on, I didn't feel like my husband even cared about my feelings. So we fought and I left the house to my parent's house...

THEN, ON my birthday (the fifth month) my husband's best friend's house burnt down. 4 days later, he was murdered in that house.

It's been 6 months since then, and he still is haunted by it.

Well, my father started some horrible business with my husband and me. He has always been very controlling, and I've always catered to it, except with my husband, because he doesn't allow others to control him... anyway, my father got mad about this and started making threats...
"I'll call the police and tell them that you killed her!" to my husband... then he made good on his threats. I spent 4 hours convincing a police officer that I was indeed me, and I was alive, and my husband did not try to kill me, that I wasn't afraid of him....

So, now I'm about 5 almost 6 months pregnant... My husband has lost his best friend, his son's mother is causing issues, he can't see his ex's daughter, my ex has been messing with us and his ex-wife, my mother is enabling my ex, my father is sending police to make sure my husband didn't kill me...

NOW, let's make it worse...

My step-son's mother decides she wants full custody, (she'd thus far had visitation, and shared legal custody). SO, she accuses my husband of view child porn, then accuses him of trying to sell child porn of my step son, then accuses him of sexually molesting my step son... after NONE of this worked, (and all the while, my step son being more and more traumatized, as he has mild psychological diagnosis of his own... anxiety, depression with psychotic processes, highly suseptable to suggestion, etc), anyway, after none of it worked, I was removed from my home with my NOW newborn baby for 40 days because she convinced my step son to tell a doctor I had touched his private parts... WHEN HERES WHAT REALLY HAPPENED:

My step son had been having diarreha related to the anxiety of everything he was going through. He has ALWAYS had a problem touching himself, even to clean himself, because (remember, highly suseptable to suggestion) his mother told him to NEVER let anyone (and he took that literally, anyone includes him) Never let ANYONE touch his privates. SO, he never did. Well, he trusted me. When he had diarreha all over his bottom, I took a baby wipe and asked him if he wanted me to help him clean up? He said yes...

THEN, he told his mother that he had an accident at our house, and I helped him clean up. She said "that was disrespectful" so he thought it was.

She took him to a doctor, and she told the doctor that she was worried that my step son had been touched inapproprately. She said she'd found evidence of some very sexual behavior from him... she said she saw him putting tampons into his bottom, because his step mother (me) had told him to do that for diarreha (quick side note... I'd been pregnant, just had a baby... I didn't have tampons in the house, and there hadn't been any for over 10 months...) Anyway, she got the doctor all worked up, so when the doctor asked my step son:

"Did anyone ever touch you on your privates?" he said "yes." The doctor said, "who?" he said "My [step] mom" the doctor said, "What did she do?" "She said, 'do you want me to touch your bottom?' and I said 'no that would be disrespectful.'"

SO... I was removed with a restraining order from my home for 40 days. The agency that works with these allegations had already heard enough of my step son's mother, and didn't believe anything she had to say so they didn't bother to investigate. HOWEVER, during the long-term hearing... my stepson's mother's lawyer said that she'd talked to them and that they were going to build a team to investigate.

SO they extended the original 20 day exparte order, to accomidate for this 'investigation'

When it still didn't come, I called and called and called... finally someone called me back to say "we didn't even put this report into the system. We aren't going to investigate this."

SO, now here I am with the 40 days over about 3 days ago... my husband and I have developed an new dynamic to talk to eachother... name calling, and hanging up on eachother.

So... sometimes I wonder... is he right? Are we just not meant to be?