Suzy, I dont want to be harsh... But have you asked your husband and been told that he would have picked a different path than being with you? If you haven't, then I dont think you should think such things since you can't read his mind. I only wish the best for you, otherwise I wouldn't have said anything at all.

But Kaisc, Suzy does have a point. You can't go into a relationship with this girl half heartedly. If you have any doubts at any point, you should probably get out. It will only hurt the both of you more later on. I'm glad you guys are doing well now, but make sure she continues to see her doctors. I'm not sure I understand her point of seeing if she could push you away... What does that accomplish, exactly? Was it more a test of how serious you are? Just be careful, and dont forget to take care of yourself first.
Lots of luck,
Ro