i wont go to a psych hospital either... i just know everyone has a different opinion on it...
i dont know if i suggested this to you before (bad memory due too all the meds)
when im feeling suicidal or at the end of my rope, sometimes i just hang out somewhere i know i will be safe.
for me, its wandering around the hospital (not a psych hospital)
or refilling prescriptions to just interact with other people....
also been going to a pool hall and getting to become comfortable there....
its a good thing to just try to go where your heart tells you (dont listen to where the "disorder" tells you to go)
for me its the pool hall and the hospital, for you, its somewhere...
just think of one thing you enjoy, just one, and "move" toward that one thing.
but thats just my wierd state of mind talking...
im just trying to help.
(extending a hand to you... )