Hey L2H, sounds like a bit of depression. Are you taking meds for that? One thing you might try when feeling crappy is stop telling yourself it shouldn't be like this. Let yourself feel crappy, really crappy. I for one live by the sayings *what you resist, persits* , *the more things change, the more they stay the same* and most true, *and this too shall pass*. Peace and love, Boz