I've read mine once. Ouch. My strong recomendation would be to shred the whole pile. Put it in the past. Get a new T. Process what happened, grieve the loss. The termination process still needs to occur since it sounds like you have not been able to let go (and who could without a proper termination?). That work needs to happen - within the safe structure of therapy. I know the difficulty of trying to trust again. But try to put aside emotion just a bit to know that this was one T. Just one. They are not all like her. You can read here about many, many good, kind, gentle Ts. I hope you will find one to process your loss with, and find a way to move ahead!

It's possible. I know it is.

Slippers.