I have been keeping stuff in as far as my family is concerned .... I decided to do some cleaning, including sorting out very tangled wires behind the tv .... stuff that never gets done unless I think about it ... dust bunnys, behind furniture etc .... ended up changing the furniture around AGAIN .... hubby playing golf upstairs .... son in bed .... this was atound lunch time ..... i know i should say i need help but i like to keep the peace. So i end up being a martyr and moving heavy stuff around ..... I wind up moaing about something i cant fix .... something stupid like i cant hide the lamp wire ..... yeah really trivial .... hubby ends up calling me a effing idiot ... telling me to stop having a mardy ..... so i threw quite a few things really hard on the floor and stormed upstairs .... eventually he came up and asked what was wrong ... I told him i miss my mum and dad .... and daughter .... he said get over it, my parents have always been (word i cant say on here) we'll see dani in 2 weeks ..... i tell him he finds anger and aggressive easy, too easy, but telling me he loves me so hard, cuddling me so hard ....

I said I'm not a robot and i cant just forget about my parents like they were a pair of toys i'm sick of ..... yes they treated me badly but for Gods sake am i entitled to grieve or what ......

i am banging my head against a brick wall in this relationship .... i told him he never tells me he loves me .... his answer 'you know i love you'..... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGHHHHHHHHHH

I GIVE UP

Jinny x