Greygoose, you are crackin' me up bad. I know you are describing a serious situation and struggling, but god, your writing is wonderful. Do you feel a sense of humor about it as you write it? I mean, if you heard this in a Woody Allen movie, you'd laugh.

So, weather by accident or intent, your description of anxiety is a good read.

But as to your idea of anesthesia for a month...sounds a lot like an impulse to "medicate," doesn't it? The cycle you are describing sure sounds like one I would want some help with. Can you get with a dr. easily? A variety of things will interrupt this for you.

I hope you keep writing. There might be more in that for you than you know yet. Anyway, I'm sure likin' it.