I am glad that you have found the resolve necessary in order to deal with everything that you do! truely you have a lot of determination and a level head enough to inject thought and insight into your experience.

its nice to 'meet' a person such as yourself who sets your self aside enought to help another.

I am in a very similiar boat with my own wife. its extremely difficult to deal with and, along with yourself, find myself a distant second to everything else that goes on in her life, including her extra-marital relationships.

I find myself considering the same avenues of approach (or should I say escape) that you do. I can't tell at this point if i am too afraid to actually leave, or my resove to be faithful and not quit is stopping me (although it sounds like the same thing).

I applaud your efforts and I wish you the very best!