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Sometimes. Most of the time I do it to stop a panic attack. Especially if I'm home alone with a gun in the house then I SI just to keep me from doing worse. Sometimes I just feel the urge. No reason except this craving for it. I never have done it without the craving or when I'm in panic.
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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