Griffe? This may be off, but might some of the parts be *trying* to get you in a hospital? I know for me, my inner parts battle this one out. And i recall in "Girl Interrupted" she didn't want to go to th hospital, but once she was there and had a moment of dispersonalization, she was thinking "Now they can't send me home - now i'm crazy". It's in the book, not the movie.
Most of my parts fight to keep us out - but some really believe that the hospital might be the only safe place - the only place where'd we'd actually get the help we need. But the system was designed to maintain a functional appearance....
Does that make sense?
Hoping you are ok and that you can get what you need.
Kiya