Kim, you reminded me that T and I did talk, a bit, about differentiation (I tend to forget what the hell happened in session). Part of me was feeling so proud that I was beginning to separate a little, in the sense that I could stay connected to him outside of session and phone calls-- but as soon as HE mentioned that I was becoming differentiated, I got all nervous, like he was kicking me out, or forcing the separation. I think it is similar with my husband... except with him, I used to be ridiculously enmeshed and now there are times when I feel like I have outgrown him in a sense... not saying that I don't want to be with him... just saying that there hasn't been a balance of intimacy yet.