Jen,

I don't know what is wrong. I, too, can worry about not panicking. But I don't think I have ever worried about not having a "panic attack". I have had them rarely and I hate 'em! Hate what they do to my stomach, hate what they do to my heart, hate what they do to my soul.

I read your post last night about your uncle. I hope that is not the post you wished you had not written. I think it is important that people know how much your loved ones mean to you. I am sorry your uncle died, but I am so happy for you that you had him. And you still do have him. Wasn't the love in that room amazing?

I have a really good friend who died of cancer 8 years ago. We met in high school over 30 years ago. I was visiting her the weekend she died. She died in her husband's arms, in her bed. Her parents, another friend of ours from high school and I were in the living room. Her 5 year old son was in his bed room (it was night, he was kinda sleeping). Anyway, the next day when I drove home (a 12 hour trip), I just kept thinking -- I want to call her and tell her what a beautiful weekend it was. Isn't that strange? The love in that house!!!!!!