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dalila said:
<font color="green">I have to warn some of the others on here that being with a therapist who is the same sex is not a guarantee that you will never feel erotic transference. I have gotten so attached to my therapist that I have had sex dreams and even hmmm cravings [?] for her. I rather embarrassedly told her about the dreams and she helped me see it as wanting to be closer and not really getting how to do it without sex. I used to think I just wanted her to be the mother I didn’t have but have found that I seem to want more and less from her.

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Thank you for pointing this out, Dalila. Erotic transference comes in many forms, and can be experienced no matter what combination of gender the therapist and patient are.

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Pink,
Interesting that you name the thoughts ‘impure’

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Ah, that was actually my sarcasm doing its work, lol. I just thought the term "impure thoughts" was funny. To me, there is nothing impure about thinking about sex, not even with one's therapist.
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but I sort of believe that having experienced the ability to feel close without the erotic connotations you will be able to revisit that. It also seems natural that when you felt at all uncomfortable or misattuned that you would revert to what has been the norm for you. I have to congratulate you on your willingness to walk through a minefield full of such personal and private pain.

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Thank you, Dalila! I think you are right-- I have definitely been able to experience the closeness, connection, and intimacy, on a level that is deeper and stronger than any sexual connection. However, T is right-- my natural feeling is to be even CLOSER to someone who I feel that close with-- hence, the sexual feelings. I am also learning how to accept and deal with a medium-- erotic transference may feel strong at times, and not so strong at others-- but I think it will always be there.