I'd be really annoyed at my therapist if he took that much responsibility as a result of my own choices. I'm not exactly sure why your therapist felt so guilty. She pushed you to see a pdoc because she thought it was in your best interest-- and now you had negative med experiences... I'm not sure how that is her fault. I think your therapist really needs to examine what is going on with her. My therapist heavily encouraged me to continue with my medication quest-- and he stood by me while I failed with my 15th, 16th, 17th, and 18th meds. He acknowledged that maybe I would be angry with him and pdoc for encouraging me to take meds that failed. I acknowledged that I do get angry at them because, well, who else am I going to angry at that for? But on the other side of it, it is no one's fault. It is my choice to decide to swallow the meds; my choice to keep trying. If the meds fail, and I get angry at pdoc and/or T, that is more of an expression of my frustration, than anything.

If you are handling med withdrawal with thoughts and visions of violence, I would immediately tell both your therapist and pdoc. You mentioned in your other post that you "dropped" your pdoc. Not a good idea. Even if you are not on meds, you are still going through withdrawal symptoms. Your pdoc should be involved in helping you handle this. You should also sort out which of these symptoms are results of the med withdrawals, and which are things you need to work out in therapy. You mentioned that your meds haven't done anything for you-- but were you experiencing these violent thoughts and mood swings while on them?