I know I've got to try to get over these feelings. One reason I think I get them is...

When my husband was in his accident. I asked and begged him not to take that bike ride. Just had this awful feeling all day. He went anyway; I tossed him the keys despite my feelings. Well he crashed and when I heard the sirens I knew it was him. So now every little bad feeling I have I think I have to listen to it and if I don't something bad will happen.

My son is petrified of the pool, he won’t go near it. When I try to bring him in it to teach him, he screams as though he was being stabbed. Sometimes kids do weird things for no good reasons, there was a kid down the street from my ex-husband, 4 years old wondered out of his house fell in the pool and drowned, the pool guy found him in the morning. Every nightmare story sticks in my head.

I know I'm going to have a long battle with these feelings I get when I don't have my kids under my roof, under my control, under my protection. It's so hard to let go, I'm sure it's only going to get harder as they get older.

Thanks for your encouragement and advice.