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pinksoil said:
. I know that when I thought I could sustain the whole connection, I also thought I had made his over this big hurdle in therapy-- only to be let down again when I felt disconnected from him.

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T and I have talked about this. How it feels so good, and safe, to feel connected, but how I inevitably lose that feeling again. After his recent vacation, when I finally felt really reconnected to him, I told him it felt so much better that way and I wanted it to be that way all the time but I knew it would go away again - I just don't know when or how. And he said "well, why don't you just expect that, then?". And he said that during the disconnected time, we could look forward to whatever magical thing would happen to make us even more deeply connected than we were before. I like this idea....but it's hard to hang on to when I'm not feeling the connection....