my3sns,

I continue to struggle with this issue too. My T has suggested that it would be best if I verbally tell her all the details of what happen. However, she has also told me that if I don't want to do this, I don't have to. Healing can occur without a complete confession. So far, I have avoided talking directly about the details. At one point last session she introduced me to EMDR and walked me though an exercise. During this session I withheld telling her what I was visualizing. My T seemed to want to know what I was experiencing so she could guide the activity better, but didn't push me. We did the exercise without me telling her what my triggering event actually was. Later that night I was really re-traumatized and having a lot of nightmares. In addition to experiencing this I started thinking that the treatment wasn't working because I didn't engage fully and confess all. I don't know what was worse the flashbacks or the guilty I was feeling for deliberately shutting out my T when she was so willing to sit an listen.

At this point I know I didn't do anything wrong, I just wasn't ready. Also I know that telling my T the details isn't about making her feel like she is in-the-loop, giving juicy gossip to chat about with her friends, or about me doing something she wants me to do. It should be about me and if I think I need to tell the story to someone else or not.