When I first started seeing my Pdoc/T, I saw her as two people. The one on the phone was kind and caring. The one in person reminded me of a stone. The "stone" was cold and non-caring. It wasn't until the 12 month of therapy did I see a transformation. I was sitting in my seat and saw the phone T and the stone merge into one person. She was the same person as the phone T but now there in the therapy session with me. That was 10 days before she went on vacation. I realize now that I finally was able to trust her. I opened up and was willing to talk about anything.

T went on vacation. I saw a substitute T. The substitute T is my DBT group therapy T. I had felt a connection with her right away. So I asked the DBT T to substitute during my T's vacation. The first week I was miserable. I missed my T terrible. It felt like home-sickness. But I continued to open up and talk about my issues.

Yesterday I was driving home and I thought about my regularly scheduled T appointment on Monday. I envisioned my T sitting in her chair. I saw the stone.

So I am angry that my T went on vacation. I feel like she snapped my connection to her. Therapy will definately be interesting tomorrow.