hi wants to fly... I myself had an intimate love relationship with a young woman that I am still after 17 or 18 years working on and sorting out...(even though I have had another relation in meantime) The reason this relationship was important to me is because she was the only person I ever showed myself to in boundaryless intimacy... Came from family background of people afraid of intimacy... (or maybe fear of intimacy is the norm) It is not my goal, i don't think, to recapture this intimacy primarily just through humans... It just seems like most of us human beings at our present level of development are incapable of giving this kind of unconditional intimacy and love that spells safety, beauty. love, release bliss... Your lover fled intead of opening to the reality of pain illness loss (and its concomittant resonating death throes) etc he ran and is probably still running (aren't we all in one way or another) It is my contention (and the contention of all spiritual paths the world over) that the unconditional intimacy we seek is to be found in God the Beloved alone... We as humans in mature relationships can aspire together to this unconditional love and companionsip and intimacy but it is an aspiration that finds its fulfillment only in the Beloved of our Hearts... In other words the only true uncoditional intimacy between humans is when humans themselves have communed into Union with the Divine... And so If I were ever to counsel someone who wanted to be in relationship I would counsel them to put this higher Goal (which I believe is the Goal and purpose of human life and evolution) as first in their lives and to use the relationship as a way to work through and grow into the Divine together and then bring this union more greatly into the world... So a person would want to make sure that their partner as well has unconditional intimacy as a goal(everybody does but some are more willing to work through the obstacles) and realizes that most of we humans have not achieved this goal yet and that we need to work (prayer, intuition, meditation (especially), mutual service, willingness to sit with and work through fear depression anxiety hurt etc) in order to reach the goal of our heart... I also believe that as we grow in this Intimacy it begins to Embrace the entire world in its enveloped love... that this project for a limited personal intimacy will expand to include all in its purview... Anyways If I had such pain I would not run from it but would use it as a great opportunity and grace to open me in a greater way to Gods kind blessing and smile. Roger Walsh a psychiatrist and spiritual teacher in Essential Spiritualiy writes

"Ethical living heals our minds. Acts of forgiveness and helping are incompatable with feelings such as overwhelming anger and jealousy, so these emotions begin to lose their compulsive power"
and also
"to heal hatred begin by generating feelings of love and kindness toward yourself or someone you love (and to this I would probably add or God). When the positive feelings are strong, bring the person you dislike into awarenss and begin repeating the phrase (may you be happy, joyful, loving, and peaceful) with him or her in mind."

Paramahansa Yogananda a great person of God wrote that when we have negative thoughts about another we should think about all their good qualites etc until a more balanced perspective arrives. I am sure on the web there is a wealth of info on prayer, loving kindness meditation, tonglen , forgiveness meditation in general and the like... And always tune to the love of God would be my recommendation.... Because I see so clearly the Spirit origination and purpose and play of life- to me God is always the centeral aspect of the equation and the ultimate answer right now.