With T I sometimes say "we", but never out in public with people besides my BF.
As for names....everyone knows that the entire system goes by BJ for public purposes, but when we are at home or in T, we can go by everyone else's names.

I agree, it is SO confusing, but to try to stop the confusion we had to agree on being called BJ.

There's gotta be another name you all can agree on. Maybe you can explain that everyone gets to put in a singular name and then there can be a poll or a flip of the coin or something like that to help? IDK, just a thought.

Many safe hugs to you!

BJ