Basically what had been going on before in my relationships has taken a whole other turn towards hell. My husband and I finally declared that we are no longer together. We decided to separate, but not civilly. He wants the children, and of course I do too. We will be in court fighting for the custody of our children soon. I'm planning on moving out next month when I receive my student grants.

I've been having an extramarital affair on my husband for the last month. The man I had a one night stand with, (friends husband) is separated from my friend, his wife. We have been meeting up occasionally to be intimate. Daily, I fear the cat will come out of the bag and I will lose a friend and my husband will use it against me in court in the future. I guess I made my bed and now I have to lay it in. Although the risks involved, I crave him...I want him all the time. Not necessarily because of the sex, but because of the intimacy besides sex.

I despise my home and the environment my children and I have to face here. It's ghetto.


All I want to do is run away from here and never speak to my friends, husband, or lover ever again and start a new. It's not possible though, I will have to suffer because of my actions. I feel like an horrible person