Interesting session today. Can anyone say 'role reversal' lol.

He is like 'OF COURSE we can keep up email contact while you are away'. But... I need him to have a think and set some boundaries. Because... I think that (while this is flattering in one sense) he is TOO giving. And that that means that... A degree of burnout / frustration with my 'demandingness' is imminent.

He wonders why I'm resistant to seeing that my mother placed demands on me that were simply unrealistic demands for a mother to place on her child.

He says: Parents are supposed to cast aside their needs / demands in order to meet the needs of their infants.

I say: But children with autism are very very difficult for any parent. Maybe it isn't so much that parents are terrific at putting aside their needs, maybe it is more that some people are lucky enough to have needs that are mostly in synch. So... The infant needs nurturing / to idealize... And... The parent needs to nurture / to be idealized. Happy pair oh joyous wonder...

Cough, splutter.

Why am I resistant? Why... Because we aren't just interpreting the actions of my mother towards me, here. We are using that in order to understand my actions towards you. Sometimes needs aren't able to be met. I couldn't meet my mothers. You can't meet mine. Tempting, oh so tempting in that situation to rail against 'unfair demands'. But really... Where are the 'unfair demands' coming from? Needs... Needs that can't be met. And to sit there with a grief... Knowing there is nothing that one can do to change it, to help it, to make it better... IS hard.

And yet... That is what I need him to do.

((((my t)))))