Hi Rose,

thanks for your reply.

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Rose3 said:
when you say that you fear that the people closest to you will turn away unless you turn straight - did they say that they want you to become straight?

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Yes, they hope I end up with a girl and never accept "other kind of choice". I don't know if it's a matter of time and they change their mind eventually or not.

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Rose3 said:
Since you told them (friends and family) - have they turned away from you? Are they not accepting you?

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My friends love me. They are always supportive and my being gay has never been a problem. Maybe this is because my friends are straight girls and gay guys, I have a very few straight male friends.

My family keeps on loving me, hoping I will "change my mind" and chose another way.

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Rose3 said:
Maybe it's your own fear that is making you experience guilt?
Maybe it isn't guilt? Maybe it's something else?

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I perceive guilt and fear. I really don't know if it is something else. How could I know?