Roz... IRL you say... yes... but talking here or through IM is IRL too in a way. You've listened to me and my worries... given constructive suggestions and been a wonderful friend. I know you don't want to open up too much or to let people get too close to you... but still - I must say that I think you've told me about private things... not too much and not too little. I know it's easier to talk online and no one really knowing who you are and where you live... but still- you've talked about YOU and your situation and that can be hard no matter online or "IRL".
You're on your way, Roz. One step at a time... To let someone in looking that person in the eye is scary when you're not used to it... but try to be patient with yourself and don't force yourself to rush it. There's a time for everything.
I believe in you!