i still struggle with this and... reject it, basically. not denial, i don't think... i think 'my parents did the best they could. it wasn't adequate to meet my needs at time (spend a moment sitting with the very real intense pain). but... they did the best they could (spend a moment sitting with their very real intense pain). trying to hold them both together and seeing a inter-generational pattern...

i don't identify with being 'abused' and i don't identify my parents with being 'abusers'. that being said it is a personal choice - and i haven't known anyone else who has tried things this way... i find it... healing for me, though. i mean, don't get me wrong. i was hit and called names etc etc etc. but none of those additional facts alters the above truth, i don't think. i dunno... a way of avoiding the drama triangle? who knows...