I am so sorry to hear that you aren't feeling so well.
I've always been like that too about making friends and fearing losing them, such hangup has caused me to never really form a strong friendship, I was burnt by some past friends and then never bothered to allow myself to become close to anyone, even getting social phobic anxiety attacks.
Yep, I was DXed as you may remember, as being bipolar-II (mild) I know too well that sinking feeling, I send you my hugs with this.
Have you contacted your pdoc about how you are feeling right now? If not maybe it can be of some help to you.
Please know that you have friends here and always feel free to talk to us.
Please take care now,

DE