(((((((jinnyann)))))))
You don't always have to be strong or put on a pretense of happiness. It's perfectly natural to break down and have a good cry every now and again. I don't think you're boring, selfish, or unfit for any of your family roles; you're a sweet and caring person who happens to be going through a tough time.
Use the upcoming days to take care of yourself and do what you need to do: make it a holiday for your holiday! Hopefully by then, you'll be recharged enough to get through your holiday.
Take gentle care,
 
J
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"One by one, as they march, our comrades vanish from our sight, seized by the silent orders of omnipotent death. Very brief is the time in which we can help them, in which their happiness or misery is decided. Be it ours to shed sunshine on their path, to lighten their sorrows by the balm of sympathy, to give them the pure joy of a never-tiring affection, to stregthen failing courage, to instill faith in hours of despair."
-Bertrand Russell
With love and hope,
<~/J\~>
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