lying in bed chewing nails .... bad place .....just been triggered.....own stupid fault ..... couldn't sleep, things going round and round in my head .... tomorrow mainly ... therapy ...... public transport...... millions of people in town ..... waiting in town for transport home ..... no way. E.mailed t ..... need to see her but getting there is to me a nightmare ......

triggered reading post here .... own fault ...... WTF ....I feel so angry, USELESS AND ANGRY AND SICK OF BEING ME whoever that is.

Geeeez it's like getting on a vehicle ...... and it brings back so much CRAP from my past ......

i have voices in my head that wont go away ...... they goad and i tell myself they're fake and try to stop listening ..... they're insistant .....the noise in my head will not stop tonight ................i had anti anxiety meds ...... not working .............. i remember being 3 and climbing into a pram wanting to be a baby again ........ latest flashback ..... i remember the feeling of wanting to be held AT 3 ...... and actually getting into a pram ...... WTF