<font color="purple">Ugh. The past few days have been sort of crap-tastic for me. I just can't help but tear myself apart on the inside. Not that I'm feeling sad or anything, but having those sad thoughts, those disturbing 'fantasies' associated with depression. I feel so frustrated because tonight I practicly binged on food (self-sabotage?) and was just overly-distracted by my weight in general in ways that I've never really felt before. Maybe it's because losing weight is a painfuly slow psysical process that everyone seems to be doing faster them me *shrug*

My mom thought maybe I was mad at her about something, even though I wasn't really. If anyone asked, I just told them I was fine. I'm not fine...but if I told them that I wasn't they'd pry for more information and right now that would just take too much emotoinal and mental energy to do that.

I just don't know. Don't know anything really. </font>