(((((freewill))))) i don't have answers for you but i know your a survivor... and i care about you... and i have faith in you... i am sorry that you were so wounded as a child... they should have held you in their arms and told you how wonderful you are... and they should have kept you safe ... you didn't deserve to be treated so badly... that was about your abusers not you ... you are lovable ... and worth caring about... Lyn