Hi everyone... I've been pretty worried that I'm developing schizophrenia and I get the idea that my psychiatrist might think I'm getting it and is not telling me. I need to know. I'm 19 and I've had anxiety and depression for the majority of my life... my mom is bipolar if that's relevant. Right now I am currently very lazy... I'm talking excessively lazy. I'm too lazy to eat, shower, shave, or brush my teeth. I smoke a lot of marijuana and I've done many other drugs before. These drugs include: Alcohol, marijuana, LSD, mushrooms, cocaine, oxycotton, dextromethorphan, diphenhydramine, xanax, etc etc.

Now I primarily just smoke pot and I've been having some hallucinations while high. A year ago I ate a brownie laced with marijuana and my friends were walking down the hall in my dorm room toward me. A few of them started talking to me then I observed my friend punch his dorm room door and yell "%#@&#!" really loud. But nobody else had reacted to it... and let me tell you... he yelled it loudly. If he yelled it that loudly and punched his door why did nobody else react to it but me? I asked him if he just punched his door and screamed and he said he didnt. After that I laid in my bed in my dorm room and had visual and auditory hallucinations. I didn't hear voices but I heard footsteps that repeated incessantly in the same pattern. It definitely wasn't real. Then, a few weeks ago I was smoking with some friends, and one of my friends was talking to me and he happened to be smiling... but then his face changed into a glaring face and he glared at me for a brief moment. It happened in a blink of an eye... DEFINITELY wasn't real. I could tell that it was not reality when it happened.

I also looked up some symptoms of schizophrenia and I noticed thought insertion and thought broadcasting. Can you guys tell me if I have those? Sometimes I will think that something else puts certain thoughts into my mind... I usually think it's God doing it. Other times I worry "what if my friends just heard what I was just thinking". Or sometimes when im in a social situation I will imagine in my mind that they heard what I was thinking and I would get blushed in the face and my friends will ask me why my face is so red. Other times I worry... "what if my friends saw a video of one of my sessions with my psychiatrist... I'd probably kill myself before they could see it so i don't have to face the embarrassment." I will add on another note that i'm not suicidal at all... i'm quite terrified of death actually... maybe a little too much.

Any input? Don't hesitate to say what you really think please...

edit: Oh, and i forgot to mention... I also have auditory and tactile hallucinations when i'm not high on marijuana. It generally always has to do with my cell phone. I will frequently think that i hear my cell phone ringing when nobody is actually calling me. My tactile hallucination has to do with my cell phone as well... my phone vibrates when I get a text or call as well. my phone will be in my pocket and i'll feel a vibration on the exact section of my thigh that my phone is sitting on through my pocket.