well... I asked you before:

>> I have definitely been able to experience the closeness, connection, and intimacy, on a level that is deeper and stronger than any sexual connection. However, T is right-- my natural feeling is to be even CLOSER to someone who I feel that close with-- hence, the sexual feelings. I am also learning how to accept and deal with a medium-- erotic transference may feel strong at times, and not so strong at others-- but I think it will always be there.

> So... If it wasn't there... Then that would mean that you wouldn't get to experience the closeness, connection, and intimacy, on a level that is deeper and stronger than any sexual connection?

> (I'm just trying to figure what it would mean TO YOU if the erotic transference wasn't there which I interpret to mean - if you didn't have thoughts of sleeping with him at times).

And now I guess I'm thinking (as I was suspecting before): That the answer is: No. If you didn't think / feel sexual thoughts about him sometimes then you wouldn't feel such an intense bond with him. Maybe that... If you didn't think / feel sexual thoughts about him sometimes then you wouldn't be special to him / he wouldn't be special to you...

There is a reason why many people think that sexualized transference is a defence: A defence against what? Figuring that out is probably the key towards feeling a deeper sense of intimacy with people who there are NO sexualized feelings for (e.g., women, kids, and guys who you don't feel sexual towards / guys who don't feel sexualized toward you). Maybe even... A deeper sense of intimacy with respect to clients who don't idealize you / sexualize you... Maybe even... Showing them how to have a sense of deep connection and intimacy not cast up within erotic transference...

Perhaps...