How I'm realizing that my drinking has become more of a problem is the local liquor store manager knows me by my first name. Everybody calls me to come to parties and help make drinks and jello shots. I drink to feel motivated. When I was working, I'd spike my powerade on a %#@&#! day. I don't wake up with hang overs anymore no matter how much I drink. I can down a pint of vodka by myself and still need more.

My relationship with my husband and the circumstances around it has lead me into drinking almost daily. I am 22 years old and feel like my life is %#@&#! and that I am destroying myself in order to be temporarily happy.

Nobody around me will understand neither. My Mom is a junkie, has been since I was 10, my husband is a worse alcoholic than me, and my sister is addicted to crack. I figured since I didn't do drugs, smoke pot, or anything, that I was better off then them. I'm figuring that I am just as %#@&#! up.