the person is gone, but her cruelty lives on inside me. I fight to get past the memories and am working with a T to deal with it all.

But, as a child, it was torture. My mother moved away so I I felt she didnt care ( and mean stepmother told me on a daily basis that my mom hated me and she left because we were bad. I began to believe it.) My dad was there physically, but emotionally he left me 14 ys ago. So, now my dad has died and my mother is so far gone from her illness that she forgets I exist. I am kind of like an orphan. But, the problem is....I have always felt like an orphan. From the time stepmother came in to my life I was alone. No one cared for me anymore. I couldnt even talk to my dad privately. At 11, I wasnt allowed to see my mom anymore (stepmother brain washed us into this) and at 14, all contact with my sister and grandparents stopped as well. All of my family was gone and I was alone. I have been so alone for so long I dont know how to let people in.

at the age of 16 is when it got worse. 2 kids had moved out and ti was just me and stepsister who liked to lie and get me in trouble. I was the slave....I did the cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, and about anything else you can think of. If I didnt do something right away I was called lazy and stupid. Everyday I was told how ugly, fat and stupid I am and how no wonder my mom didnt want me.

I know if I dont stop here Ill go on and on. Sorry. The flashes of hell just keep coming back.