Hi Freewill,

I think forgiving is an option, but it's not for everyone. Each person needs to figure out if it is what they wish to do. There is some sense in it, even when it comes to very difficult situations like this - I was abused by multiple perpetrators, and have worked on forgiveness in my healing process. It was healing for me, and helped me resolve some issues I was having. But again, this isn't for everyone. However, "forgive and forget" isn't a reality. I think we still remember things which occured. And yes, I believe therapy is important, and I think most clergy do as well. As we process things, the events of the past become less intrusive in our daily lives, and less charged with emotion....less of a stumbling block. But we still remember them. A former therapist told me that as we work on these things, instead of the memories being traumatic, vivid and in color, it's more like they fade to black and white and are less troubling. I think that's true, and for some folks, forgiveness is part of that healing process. Other folks resolve things in other ways of their own choosing.

I also agree with the others, that if you're not seeing a counselor - it's a good idea to do so, unless your clergy person is a trained pastoral counselor.

Take care,
ErinBear