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_Sky said:
Why only full therapy if you get back together? Is he just playing with it now, to entice you to think he's changed? Still sounds like it might be all about him.

You can have him in your daughter's life without remarrying now. Allow more contact and that way you'll see how much or little he's changed.

Narcissism is a very difficult disorder to heal...and if the person isn't fully invested in it, for a long time...in fact maybe working on him/herself forever... things don't change with them and how they put themselves first and best.

I know you want a family, but at what cost? Having the child find out for herself that her dad is all about "dad" wouldn't be the best either, you think?

TC

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Hello and thanks for the comments. I agree that this is difficult because he does need therapy but because of school only works part time so he has no medical benefits for therapy, but I've been in therapy for years.... It is just not about her having a father, it is about us having our family back together. It is about wanting to work through the difficulties that exist to get to a better place in both of our lives... He agreed to the therapy and that will happen, but I won't remarry him until I feel that change is obvious and long-term.

He really is a good loving father to her...he puts her first at all times which is why his other behaviors are so crazy....in terms of loving her and doing for her, except the child support issues... She responds to him better than she does to me and the therapist thinks she needs him in her life, especially now.

This would require him moving in with us because finanacially now it makes more sense... He has agreed to pay me rent, etc. and help with the bills.... A full time job is nonnegotiable also so he will have benefits then for therapy....

Thanks again for our opinions....

TJ