You don't need to be apologizing for anything, I feel badly for you that you didn't have a good relationship with your T.
Hope you find a good T that doesn't cancel and is there for you!
Hugs to you ((((((((((( silentlyscreaming ))))))))))
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein