LOL, Wants...I too am seriously defective, and I know this. I've been surveying my life...unwillingly, lately...and at my age I do recognize how I evolved as I have. Have you been able to do this? It's not pretty, but it does make me realize how things have developed as they have.
I too have few friends, and i am also a teacher. I have managed to do my job with insight and compassion as I relate to my students, but my personal life is zero. I even managed to complete my M.A. in Art this past spring, after 4 years of working on it. My advisor/professor said to me , "Pat, don't hide your work in a closet!" but I don't feel like promoting myself artistically. Just glad to have it done!
I do have a wonderful daughter and twin grandsons who love me. That really is the brightest spot in my life, though they live far away.
i managed to break the cycle of abuse I had suffered as a child, and never once hit my daughter. We have a wonderful relationship.
That is my one big success, I think. I have given up on the idea of meeting a man, and that's fine with me now. I like the peace.
Love
Patty