How I feel now: Sad--as if someone died

How the session ended: I let out a big sigh and T said I seemed relieved. I was.

How the session began: I experienced a huge struggle within myself in order to tell T the connections I have been making and the implications that are distressing.

In the middle: What we hear is not always what is said. I sobbed with my head in my hands. I grieved my childhood abuse. T encouraged me to connect the dots between then and now and I heard him telling me to be quiet. (A huge transference.) When I spoke to him while still bent over he said he couldn't hear me. He was so soft and gentle. He practically whispered, "stay here with me Miss." I said I couldn't. Yet, I did.
I stayed and I told him what has been running through my mind. I said it out loud. It is my truth--yet I still doubt me.

The most solid part of this session is that I am beginning to get into a place where I can trust my body. The memories I have had are tactile--in that they have begun to arise out of body sensations (my surgery and my yoga classes.) I guess this is what they mean when they say that the body stores memory. Sigh.